So ...
i wonder why i don't follow through on my intentions
seriously.
i go to chapel..i read stories.. i still remember a story i read a longggg time ago..about offering a smile to those you see...it set off a chain reaction. i've always loved it.
see, when people smile at me and ask how im doing, it feels Good. So why don't I do it back?
I want to... but something stops me.
The other week this random girl started talking to me at the shuttle stop. honestly..my vision sucks so i thought maybe she knew me. her voice was so sincere and genuine, she must know me..no one talks like this...
she was just being nice. why can't i do that?
class the other day.. presentations started on our health psych papers.. you could tell the nervous people from the seasoned. i can't stand the nervous to the point of crying ones. it makes me look away. i dont know why. i feel bad that they are so nervous..maybe looking away will make it easier on them? but maybe showing focus would too. i listen to everything and everyone..sometimes i just don't show it.
this girl gets up to speak...she doesn't say much in class usually, but her cheeks got all red, and i was like. oh no...
then she speaks. her voice isnt rehearsed...its not seasoned either. its genuine. she commanded that room. her tone, her expression...she passed around a magazine on MS ..she gave the website for MS..she gave a really great presentation and i wanted so badly to raise my hand and ask her why she chose this topic and then compliment her... i wanted to..but i didnt.
i then reasoned that maybe that would bring up some emotional things that she'd not be too crazy about expressing to the whole class... so i decided that id catch her at the end. nope.
i saw her at the shuttle stop. nothing. i literally stood next to her..and took pictures of the sky instead of complimenting her. what the healk? anyone could tell that presentation meant the world to her. obviously it is an issue close to her heart. i have good intentions.
i get inspired. but it rarely follows through.
sometimes i tell myself im going to show myself today. im going to smile and show care. im going to get a little honest.
honestly, lately, im doing a lot better but it still bugs me. i do these things once or twice and then veer off the track. if i know something will help someone..or brighten their day..why the healk can't i do it?
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Post 1
I have one of these for journalism. and you know, it's pretty sweet. pretty basic. has all the bells and whistles one may need.
so I got a new cell phone, and with that came this! well, sort of. i decided that i have way too many pictures with my camera but my cell phone? i mean, i don't use that half as much therefore, i will not be posting ten million pictures which i think is cool. you know, escape the whole fb..myspace thing.
so theres 6 days of classes left. It is really exciting but yet really stressful. My big sister is in the hospital. She had her appendix out yesterday. Totally crazy, i woke up to go to class and find out she had to be rushed to the ER by her dad an hour earlier. (she is my roommate) So I'm asking her all these questions that my doctor asked me (i've had many episodes) and she's answering pretty mediocre but nothing real like OMG YOU HAVE APPENDICITIS. well, now im wondering if my doctors are just not as with it as the ones down here. seriously, up north, well, i can't even really understand what the healk my doctor is saying, and she ordered me something once that the pharmacy LAUGHED at me for. Apparently she wrote the prescription wrong because they would never ever fill something like that. Hmmmm. I digress. Down south, okay, in this little city, the doctors are very high tech and very into performing every test and they definately don't hesitate to do surgery or invasive procedures. I guess it could be good or bad. Big big is okay and i love her and I am thrilled that she is up and walking. =)
My parents are having a whole lot of work on our first floor done. Since the storms did so much damage, some neat people (one of which has a masters in psychology?) are fixing it up. Apparently my dad is really happy with it.
Speaking of my dad. he sent me a text last friday when I was doing my show, it said "Sure will i am yur biggest fan "
aww i love his dumb gramatically awesome text messages. but seriously it was really nice. i played his music on my show for the first time. and , well i asked my boyfriend, who was painfully listening to my show (he is really really unfortunately ill) what he thought of the last song I played. he said "totally awesome" and then I asked him again later to which his response was "if its this song, hell no" apparently he was "totally" joking about liking it the first time around. so he repeated to say how awful it was, and kept asking WHO it was, and now that i think of it... i never told him afterward...doesn't matter he doesn't go on AIM much so he won't see this link.
okay so to the pictures?!
See those two clouds, going...DOWN? yes. i will admit, my fear of storms has decreased a whole lot, but tornado looking skies, no. today, I was actually quite afraid. I called my dad and he had to view the Super Intense weather so that he could see EXACTLY where HP was and where the storm was. He talked to me for half an hour. i know i know.
This is Mr.Monkey. I got him for emily (big si) and he had a get well balloon tied on his arm. I like his hospital smock =)
This picture and the one below are just me playing with the color settings on my phone. negative and sepia. reallllll basic. i was in the car on my way to Maine for Easter.
This is a neat tree I saw on the way up to Maine. My dad had pulled over to show us this farm house his friend had just bought. Of course, my mom was like in love with it. (Not the tree; the house. Pretty sure i'm the only one who cared about twisty over yonder)
We left our house at 3. We got to Maine at 10 . This is half of the reason.
This is a picture I took while doing my show. This is the radio station's monitor. I took it to capture my dad's music in the line up. Right near Nirvana, Avenged Sevenfold , and Shinedown, boo ya!
This is me after a day at the pool. Uhm, I forgot to wear sunscreen so my chest and arms and back got fried. I will not repeat that mistake.
till next time - so...awhile
so I got a new cell phone, and with that came this! well, sort of. i decided that i have way too many pictures with my camera but my cell phone? i mean, i don't use that half as much therefore, i will not be posting ten million pictures which i think is cool. you know, escape the whole fb..myspace thing.
so theres 6 days of classes left. It is really exciting but yet really stressful. My big sister is in the hospital. She had her appendix out yesterday. Totally crazy, i woke up to go to class and find out she had to be rushed to the ER by her dad an hour earlier. (she is my roommate) So I'm asking her all these questions that my doctor asked me (i've had many episodes) and she's answering pretty mediocre but nothing real like OMG YOU HAVE APPENDICITIS. well, now im wondering if my doctors are just not as with it as the ones down here. seriously, up north, well, i can't even really understand what the healk my doctor is saying, and she ordered me something once that the pharmacy LAUGHED at me for. Apparently she wrote the prescription wrong because they would never ever fill something like that. Hmmmm. I digress. Down south, okay, in this little city, the doctors are very high tech and very into performing every test and they definately don't hesitate to do surgery or invasive procedures. I guess it could be good or bad. Big big is okay and i love her and I am thrilled that she is up and walking. =)
My parents are having a whole lot of work on our first floor done. Since the storms did so much damage, some neat people (one of which has a masters in psychology?) are fixing it up. Apparently my dad is really happy with it.
Speaking of my dad. he sent me a text last friday when I was doing my show, it said "Sure will i am yur biggest fan "
aww i love his dumb gramatically awesome text messages. but seriously it was really nice. i played his music on my show for the first time. and , well i asked my boyfriend, who was painfully listening to my show (he is really really unfortunately ill) what he thought of the last song I played. he said "totally awesome" and then I asked him again later to which his response was "if its this song, hell no" apparently he was "totally" joking about liking it the first time around. so he repeated to say how awful it was, and kept asking WHO it was, and now that i think of it... i never told him afterward...doesn't matter he doesn't go on AIM much so he won't see this link.
okay so to the pictures?!
See those two clouds, going...DOWN? yes. i will admit, my fear of storms has decreased a whole lot, but tornado looking skies, no. today, I was actually quite afraid. I called my dad and he had to view the Super Intense weather so that he could see EXACTLY where HP was and where the storm was. He talked to me for half an hour. i know i know.
This is Mr.Monkey. I got him for emily (big si) and he had a get well balloon tied on his arm. I like his hospital smock =)
This picture and the one below are just me playing with the color settings on my phone. negative and sepia. reallllll basic. i was in the car on my way to Maine for Easter.
This is a neat tree I saw on the way up to Maine. My dad had pulled over to show us this farm house his friend had just bought. Of course, my mom was like in love with it. (Not the tree; the house. Pretty sure i'm the only one who cared about twisty over yonder)
We left our house at 3. We got to Maine at 10 . This is half of the reason.
This is a picture I took while doing my show. This is the radio station's monitor. I took it to capture my dad's music in the line up. Right near Nirvana, Avenged Sevenfold , and Shinedown, boo ya!
This is me after a day at the pool. Uhm, I forgot to wear sunscreen so my chest and arms and back got fried. I will not repeat that mistake.
till next time - so...awhile
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)